MY APOLOGIES
I apologize for not updating this site more consistently. I am a busy lawyer-man and my dad got some new bowling DVDs that we watched together while eating jerky and drinking Virginia Gentleman whiskey.
As many of you know, one of my principles is the two-month rule. If you ask me what happened this weekend and it involves a girl, I will squirm and try to change the subject like a 10 year old with a crush on the girl who grew breasts first. I'm sorry that's just how I am. Fortunately, I am perfectly forthcoming with my stories after 2 months have passed. Since this blog has just started, I can tell you about what happened in December. You will have to wait until April to find out what happened this weekend. Or will you?
In December I went to a fancy-pants Christmas party with Geoff and Swint. Geoff told me to dress smart-casual, but I don't think I have that. So I wore jeans and a festive sweater. I think I looked good, but Geoff made fun of me and hurt my feelings. After several cups of punch, Swint started staggering around aimlessly and mocking the wine rack while Geoff was getting handsy with his girlfriend. This all means that I had an opportunity to talk to a girl with nobody watching me.
So I went outside and smoked a cigarette and had a dip and chugged a beer. Finally, I was relaxed enough to pee. Now I could strike up a conversation with an empty tank. I noticed a fetching lass who was wearing Centreville colors standing alone in the kitchen. I went up to her and told her that my name is Mark and I have very strong teeth. I think she was impressed. We talked for 5 minutes and she gave me her number. I never called her because there was a big Bass fishing tournament on ESPN that week. I didn't tell anybody about this for two months because I didn't want them to know. Finally I can be more open and honest.
MARK
As many of you know, one of my principles is the two-month rule. If you ask me what happened this weekend and it involves a girl, I will squirm and try to change the subject like a 10 year old with a crush on the girl who grew breasts first. I'm sorry that's just how I am. Fortunately, I am perfectly forthcoming with my stories after 2 months have passed. Since this blog has just started, I can tell you about what happened in December. You will have to wait until April to find out what happened this weekend. Or will you?
In December I went to a fancy-pants Christmas party with Geoff and Swint. Geoff told me to dress smart-casual, but I don't think I have that. So I wore jeans and a festive sweater. I think I looked good, but Geoff made fun of me and hurt my feelings. After several cups of punch, Swint started staggering around aimlessly and mocking the wine rack while Geoff was getting handsy with his girlfriend. This all means that I had an opportunity to talk to a girl with nobody watching me.
So I went outside and smoked a cigarette and had a dip and chugged a beer. Finally, I was relaxed enough to pee. Now I could strike up a conversation with an empty tank. I noticed a fetching lass who was wearing Centreville colors standing alone in the kitchen. I went up to her and told her that my name is Mark and I have very strong teeth. I think she was impressed. We talked for 5 minutes and she gave me her number. I never called her because there was a big Bass fishing tournament on ESPN that week. I didn't tell anybody about this for two months because I didn't want them to know. Finally I can be more open and honest.
MARK
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