CHORES

Tonight I am going to do chores.  I am a real adult and a husband in training.  And part of that training is doing chores.  When I was younger I did things on Friday night that younger people think are fun like bowling, bench pressing, body hair removal, coin rolling, horse breeding, and water sports.  Now that I am older I do things on Friday night that older people do because older people have to do things.  Here is a preview of what I will be doing.

GETTING STARTED

HELLO.  This is Mark thinking out loud from my new home in Fairfax Station.  Fairfax Station.  I should be on a Fairfax Station.  It would be called WJAM.  I could teach lessons to children like the value of honesty and how important it is to become a lawyer and how to crawl really fast.  That might be hard to do over the radio though.  Chores.  Chores.  Chores.  Chores.  When you say a word many times in a row it starts to sound weird.  Now my wife is looking at me weird.  I'm getting an erection.

MOPPING THE FLOOR

"May-----hugh...mopping the floor.  Mop Mop Mop.  It's like I'm jamming the mop into a bucket.  In the bowl mop.  Stop holding hands mop.  Oh no the mop is fighting back.  But I am May----hugh.  So Mr. Mop you're going back in the bowl.  Now it's like I'm rubbing the guys head on the floor.  Mop.  Mop Mop.  Mopping the floor with May---hugh."

ON THE PATIO

"Ohhhh Power Washer!  This patio is going to be clean.  Centreville Clean.  BOOM! POW! ZIP!  Water is incredible.  Look at that forest.  Can I see the forest from the trees?  Of course.  My vision is excellent.

BACK INSIDE

"Now it's time for a 5 minute break from chores.  I'm going to drink a glass of milk and watch the video for 'Nothing But a Good Time' by Poison on my broken iPhone.  Because good music makes things more fun.  Also Bret Michaels inspires me sexually and I live with my fiance.  Fiance is a dumb word.  OK Break time is over.