HELLO

This is Mark. I'm worried that blogger is going to shut down my diary if I don't post anything. Little do they know that I would lawyer them into the dirt if they tried to pull a stunt like that. They would have paper work stuck in their teeth for days. That wouldn't bother me very much because I have very strong teeth. Sometimes when I'm running 10 miles on my treadmill I tie floss around my teeth just to see if I can pull them out. I can't. And I'm pretty strong. When I was 10 my dad made me walk into town to buy milk and I had to carry all 10 bottles back by myself. Sometimes if he was drunk he would shoot at me with a BB gun for kicks while I was walking. One time he hit one of the bottles. He thought I would freak out and drop the other bottles but I didn't. My dad is a pretty cool guy. That's what I would do if I had kids. But that's not going to happen for a while because no girl can tie me down. Now that I have cool car I'm even more unstoppable.

Recently I've been doing a lot of reading. I read a book about how a cow turns into a steak. It was pretty interesting. It made me hungry. But not for steak. I wonder if the cows have names. They probably don't. I wonder if I would eat steak from a cow named Mark. I probably would. But only if it was a porterhouse.

I need to buy more power tools. I don't know what I would use them for. It just seems like something I should have.

I signed up for golf lessons. The instructor's name was Pierre so I told him to go to hell and I took off. Pretty fast.

I started buying my socks at Banana Republic. They feel much nicer on my feet than the Wal-Mart socks I used to buy.

I wonder if I would still hook up so many chicks if I shaved my head. Probably. I have a nice scalp. That's what my hairdresser says.

I'm thinking about buying a tuxedo. The gay guy at my office told me to do it. He's usually accurate when it comes to textiles. I think I deserve it. My mom would be impressed if I owned a tuxedo.

I have to go feed my snake now.